tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60995183440398723602024-03-19T05:21:49.345-07:00Rawr is "I love you" in dinosaur...The confussing world of lesbian friendship, dating and sexy timesEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.comBlogger141125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-39844859133080554962011-09-24T19:01:00.000-07:002011-09-24T19:09:48.722-07:00I'm bringing sexay back...though not really cos it's just meHey ho hello hi and bonjour!<br /><br />I am such a terrible awful awful blogger, I have written far too many of these "hey I'm back, I'm sorry for not writing more, love you guys!" posts<br /><br />I completely lost my password and have had a hell of a time remembering it (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it) so ladies I do apologize so very very much for disappearing!<br /><br />I've done some quite exciting new grown up things since we last spoke such as moving out of home, applying for proper like grown up jobby things, and learning how to say "No" to karaoke (this I believe is my greatest achievement) but imagine my awesome and lovely surprise that when I did log back in I had TEN brand spanking new followers! I must warn you new folks this blog is mostly drivel mingled with my mad desire to tell you all about my sex life or to be more accurate my masturbation habits and past sexual disasters.<br /><br />But I am resolute to keep this blog alive as long as there are people out there willing to read it.<br /><br />I am therefore promising you all a post (and a vlog very exciting) in the next week to make up for July and Augusts total lack of activity.<br /><br />so for now my sweet hearts I bid you fare thee well and I WILL BE BACK SOON!<br /><br />If I'm not I give you all full permission to abuse me on my twitter page until I do something<br /><br />For now my darlings I say as always<br /><br />Cherry Cherry Boom Boom<br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-21144643434780062582011-07-05T12:38:00.000-07:002011-07-05T12:43:56.438-07:00Text NUNNERY-DRAG KING AND BURLESQUE FUN!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/224088_114959948589156_113824042036080_146824_3141876_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 600px; height: 400px;" src="http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/224088_114959948589156_113824042036080_146824_3141876_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Wanna see me dressed as a very cute boy, meet some hot ladies, have a good dance, have a few shots and confess your sins??<br /><br />Then pop down to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=170950036300616">The Nunnery</a><br /><br />Nuns giving out twisted communion and more till 11pm! Men are allowed in after 11 for monastery of sound to dance the night away with camp club classics! Not to be missed<br /><br />£3 before half 10/£5 after. R.O.A.R @Mynt BelfastEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-11954891543509828922011-07-04T07:25:00.000-07:002011-07-04T15:36:11.923-07:00If you like me then you should have put a ring on it...me...whatevsBe proud of me blog fans!<br /><br />It has now been an entire month since I have had any sort of physical sexual contact with a lady...excluding any drunken gropes that may or may not have happened cos you know that doesn't count.<br /><br />2 weeks since I replied to a drunken text <br /><br />and about 3 minutes since I last thought about sex...damn I lost the game.<br /><br />But in the past month I have given up women and it hasn't been for a lack of interest, on the contrary it seems I have become (for reasons no one will understand) a sort of catnip for single females of the gay variety in the Belfast area. Now don't take this as a boast my dear few readers, I am as baffled by this as anyone if not more so, I'm chalking it up to people needing a fat gf to make them look better in summer holiday snaps and a chemical imbalance in the water. <br /><br />But after a 6 months where I seem to have lived through every single lesbian dating stereotype disaster I have deiced enough is enough. I'm just fed up with drama so I decided to make a list of women I should avoid in order to have a drama free relationship/ dating environment:<br /><br />Women with Boyfriends: you'd think this was pretty self explanatory but sadly no I have a habit of being bi-sexual taken girls little bit of lesbian ruff. I put it down to my boyish good looks (snark) and my total availability and lack of lesbian GFs. I do need to stop letting my vagina do all the thinking in these situations though because I hate being the other woman, I used to think it's all I'd ever be good for but I've since discovered I'm actually pretty cute and a damn good catch for a real life single lady who wants me so I'm about to man the fuck up and end my cycle of being a home wrecker.<br /><br />Women who demand instant commitment: I'm going to let you in on a little secret...I am a total commitment-phobe well in terms of traditional lesbian dating ritual. Call me crazy but I think it takes more than 3 dates to decide if you want to be in a relationship with someone but apparently not so much. I need to avoid girls who just leap from one relationship to another and want me to adopt Chinese babies and rent u-hauls trucks (not an easy feet considering I live in a country that does not HAVE u-haul trucks) This is easier said than done, apparently sane, coherent, and sensible ladies can turn into frothy mouthed, multiple texting, angry email and all dropping the "L" word insanely early MONSTER without a politely worded letter to explain that is a possibility! *shudder*<br /><br />Woman with red hair: They are my absolute DOWN-FALL, I'm not saying anything about what kind of girls they are but they tend to turn me into watery, dribbley mess, and I loose all self control and become a "pootie chasing dawg" in the words of the ever gracious Kit Porter.<br /><br />Woman who do not know I exist: Oh Sue Perkins I do not care that you are 20 years older than me and would never consider me as wife material but le sigh I can not get you off my mind! I have a serious problem with fantasizing about celesbians that I'd consider "top tottie" and how we are actually in fully formed coherent relationships. Yeah...I know I'm working on that just as soon as Kristin and I get the new curtains in and Jo Frost gets the kids in college :D<br /><br />Woman who are not real: Fictional characters fall into the above category of "when emuh has too much time on her hands and let's her imagination run away with her". I just want the dream romance ala Tipping the Velvet (ok bad example) but I just AM Nan...I even have the good looks of a boy as she...FINE I'm a bit sad and don't get out much and imagining myself seducing Amy Pond in the Tardis wearing a fez and a bow tie....bloody ding<br /><br />Unfortunately my exact type seems to be fictional taken bi-sexual red head crazy commitment wanting girls sigh....AMY POND! SUPER NANNY!! THAT REALLY HOT GIRL FROMM THAT FILM I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!!<br /><br />So...<br /><br />I'm going back to Gaydar to trawl for some clunge<br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-36894170833771571992011-06-19T05:36:00.000-07:002011-06-19T05:40:12.203-07:00The Key to HappinessSo you know the way I had massive news?<br /><br />I don't really want to get too over excited yet but seeing as it's so close to happening I thought I'd share.<br /><br />There's a 98% chance I will be moving in with my writting partner and lesbian bestie Gemma by the end of July :D<br /><br />I'm really really hoping this happens because Gemma is awesome and I NEED to move out of my mums house. I still have some details to take care of in reguards of helping mum with bills and getting a room mate agreement drawn up but I feel pretty confident this is gonna happen.<br /><br />It's gonna be a lesbian barbie dream house except without the hot pink (boke) and with a lot more vodka.<br /><br />So that's part one of the big news I'll report back with part two asap so stay tuned.<br /><br />Cherry Cherry Boom Boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-28394845489708474772011-06-13T05:29:00.000-07:002011-06-13T05:33:23.147-07:00I LIVE!!Hello my few and faitful followers I am here to procalim that I am not dead!<br /><br />I shall be back in a week or two once I get my laptop back, I am currently mooching off my friend Gemma and muh as I love her, we all know I blog better at 3am when madness sets in.<br /><br />I have quite a lot to tell you guys and I'm very excited.<br /><br />My life may be changing drastically in the next month or so and I'm very excited.<br /><br />I also pinkie promise to keep this blog up better with lesbionic topics of lesbianity.<br /><br />I miss you guys<br /><br />Keep the faith<br /><br />Cherry Cherry Boom Boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-66441922247650352952011-04-16T17:14:00.000-07:002011-04-16T17:49:08.512-07:00GAY SEX!!and now that I have your attention let me talk to you about gay sex.<br /><br />I've gotten a few questions from young gay ladies about "OMG IT'S THE FIRST TIME WHAT DO I DO!?!?!" and the simple answer is whatever you feel comfortable with, there are no rules, and I'm sorry there is NO instruction manual (I looked trust me).<br /><br />The first time I had sex with a woman was fucking petrifying, I wasn't really ready for it and in hindsight wish I'd have waited but I was very much in love and we were in Dublin and it was romantic, and she was American, and going home and and and....sigh. The following may be tmi but basically I erm "Dined downstairs" had no idea what I was doing and basically tried my best based on stuff I'd read in "The Joy of Lesbian Sex", the L word and the moans emitting from the headboard of the bunk bed.<br /><br />However the first time I let a woman touch me at all she tried to fist me, the girl after that wouldn't even go near my vagina annnnd then things got slightly better. My life is one sexual disaster after another it seems but the key is to take it too seriously.<br /><br />Don't panic, assuming you're with someone you trust there won't be a 5 inch thick dildo and a bunch of straps and wires to cope with. Let them know it's your first time and that you need to take it slow, if it's both your first times relax with each other and just start with kissing and not to sound like a total hippy sex counselor explore each other. It's going to be awkward, there's no way to avoid it, the first time you have sex with anyone it's going to be awkward, but it can be beautifully so. And don't feel just because you've started you have to finish the first time you're naked with whoever you're with take it at your own pace.<br /><br />To give you some frank and honest advice the best thing (in my opinion) to do is just touch her, caress her all over and slowly work your way to her lady parts. This won't only give you some time to chillax it can be very arousing just being together and feeling each others touch can be one of the most pleasant things about sex in general not just lesbian sex, but I think it's one of the perks of lesbianism is the way a woman touches you is very different to the way a man touches you. Don't just go shoving as many fingers inside of her and jam away like they do in those pathetic porno, start slowly with one or two running around her pussy, don't neglect her clit either and just listen to what she wants. Communication is the absolute key because some people prefer being penetrated some people prefer just straight up clit stimulation don't be afraid to ask her. The one piece of advice I would give for penetration is the "come hither" finger movement and not so much in and out but more caressing her inside, and to quote the great Alice Pieszecki "circles, circles are good"<br /><br />When it comes to "taking the plunge" so to speak I'd again say take your time and USE YOUR WHOLE TOUNGE if it's not for you don't think that doesn't make you not gay, there's more to sex than just oral.<br /><br />The best advice I can give is communication, I'd recommend this for all sex but especially your first time. For the most part girls won't expect you go down on them the first time you sleep with them because it can be a little intense and don't be afraid to say "I'm not ready for that yet" . Also don't be afraid to ask her if what you're doing feels good a simple "is that ok?" will suffice and incidentally it's very fucking sexy to know the person you're sleeping with cares enough to ask.<br /><br />All in all losing your gay virginity is no less or no more complicated than the first time you have straight sex, the key is to be relaxed, ready and communicate.<br /><br />Have fun and play safe guys<br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-82921666353862325192011-04-01T06:27:00.000-07:002011-04-01T06:29:48.529-07:00I love Penis!OMG the best thing in he world has to be Penis!<br /><br />I just love cock, schlong, willies, dicks, wieners, pricks all ALL of them<br /><br />I love them a lot almost as much as I love the things they are attached to<br /><br />Boys and penis ftw!<br /><br />cioa bella <br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-20916456541326446492011-03-04T15:10:00.000-08:002011-03-04T19:06:45.854-08:00I think she likes me....and I know I like her!<br /><br />I couldn't be bothered to type all this out...plus I wanted to mime to that song<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/E1wPijkTBIo?hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E1wPijkTBIo?hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-44459617590617785752011-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:002011-02-24T07:02:53.078-08:00A Gay Girls Guide to Gaydar-how to actually get a date off it<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span> so you and the love of your life have broken up, or you're just having no luck in the dating department, what is the first thing your lesbian friends will say to you....<br /><br />"Get yourself on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">gaydar</span> it is crawling with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">clunge</span>"<br /><br />But how does one approach the daunting task of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">gaydar</span>?<br /><br />Here is my quick and easy guide to getting <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">yourself</span> a date (all based on my own <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">experience</span> so you know it's not <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">guaranteed</span> success)<br /><br />Step 1-Create Profile: using your wit and measure write some none pretentious lines about yourself without sound desperate, I know that's not easy when you're on a dating site but try to think about how it looks. For instance you could be a stunner <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ala</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Rihanna</span></span> but if you write like a 14 year old <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">chav</span></span> on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">bebo</span></span> it'll put a lot of people off as you're clearly not mentally capable of stringing a proper sentence together, so just use words instead of letters and you should be fine...also DO NOT write something like the following:<br /><br />"I WANT TO FIND MY SOUL MATE, WILL YOU LOVE ME! PLEASE LOVE ME! I'LL LOVE YOU! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE</span></span> ME!!!"<br /><br />That is both off putting and you'll only attract creepy stalker chicks who will love you too much<br /><br /><br />BONUS TIP: when you pick your pictures and you have more than one option always try to include a full shot of you because the full face shot can be very deceptive, so you may meet someone who thinks you're pretty but then your body type may not be their thing. It saves a lot of heart ache trust me on that one :)<br /><br />Step 2- Browse the profiles in your location look for the fit girls: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Nuff</span></span> said<br /><br />Step 3 -If you see someone you like MESSAGE THEM: Unlike the rest of the world of lesbian dating just starring at some girl all night will not get you anywhere, you have to be brave, toss the net out and if she doesn't reply then she doesn't it's not the end of the world.<br /><br />Step 4- Be flirty but not creepy: don't start immediately asking for sex, unless they ask first...<br /><br />Step 5- The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Facebook</span></span> Rule: OK so you've been messaging for a while and she doesn't seem crazy and she asks to add you to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">fb</span></span>...you can add away just you know be ready for all those embarrassing photos of you to get looked at...and if she <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">de</span></span>-friends you immediately...don't get too offended<br /><br />Step 6- Ask her out: In my experience the best first date tends to be coffee/a drink because they can be as short or as long as you like and there isn't a lot of pressure and you are able to talk and get to know each other<br /><br />Step 7- Ask her out AGAIN<br /><br />Step 8- If all goes well <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">BAM</span></span>! girlfriend!<br /><br />Step 9- Break up: THAT BITCH! I AM SO DELETING HER FROM <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">FACEBOOK</span></span>!<br /><br />Step 10- Hover over the delete button, change your mind and look at all her profile pictures: But she is so pretty :(<br /><br />Step 11- Get drunk and passively aggressively tweet about your now ex: "Don't you hate it when people can't get you off!" or "I never liked cats I only said I did"<br /><br />Step 12- Have overly heated text message battles that lead you no where and eat up your free texts<br /><br />Step 13- God her profile picture is so fit, you met her online and what harm could it do to send her a flirty email?<br /><br />Step 14- Stare at her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Gaydar</span></span> Profile to see how many new views she's got<br /><br />Step 15- Ask your friends to look at your profile to boost your numbers<br /><br />Step 16- realise you're crazy<br /><br />Step 17- write a lengthy apology email<br /><br />Step 18- Flirt your way back into her good books<br /><br />Step 19- Realise she is with someone else (most likely her ex) and that isn't you so you're doomed to be forever alone<br /><br />Step 20- Get drunk and cry<br /><br />Step 21- Hangover times<br /><br />Step 22- Realise that actually you only dated for a week or two and that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">every thing's</span> going to be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">ok</span></span>: Listen to your friends and get the hell back on that horse<br /><br />Step 23- Get your ass back on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Gaydar</span></span> and repeat steps 2 through 8 it is only life after all ;)<br /><br />Cherry Cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-86107062307440756832011-02-10T13:09:00.000-08:002011-02-10T14:06:50.512-08:00And now for something completly different....Blog fans<br /><br />This isn't going to be one of my simply HILLLLLARIOUS looks at life as a failing lesbian Lothario , so please feel free to ignore me until I come back next week with another entry.<br /><br />Tomorrow marks the 9th anniversary of the worst day of my life.<br /><br />My dad, who was my hero and best friend died on the 11th February 2002 and was cremated on Valentines day. Hence my hatred of this time of year....<br /><br />But while I have grown up, and the pain of his loss has eased slightly this year has had a slightly strange effect on me.<br /><br />As the only person who loved me for being myself, and liked me the way I was it was extremly hard to lose him.<br /><br />But now all I keep thinking "would he be proud of me?"<br /><br />If I spoke to him now would the person I've grown into still be someone he'd love unconditionally?<br /><br />I can't denay that I've changed a lot from the 13 year old girl that used to look up at him.<br /><br />and since my life isn't exactly what I want it to be and I'm not proud of myself it's made me feel extra bad that I've let him down.<br /><br />He always told me I could do and be anything I set my mind to and now that I'm just existing I feel like a total failure<br /><br />would he even LIKE me now?<br /><br />it's all such a complicated swirl of emotions in my poor head that I'm trying to figure out<br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-42118171911755339072011-02-08T17:00:00.000-08:002011-02-08T18:11:56.168-08:00Because I have nothing better to do....and have writters blockThe stoopid things meme:<br /><br />level 1 <p>() Smoked A Cigarette</p> <p>() Smoked A Cigar</p> <p>(XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxx) Kissed a member of the same gender</p> <p>(x) Drank Alcohol</p> <p>SO FAR: 2 (not so hardcore)<br /></p> <p>Level 2</p> <p>( ) Are / Been In Love</p> <p>(XXX) Been Dumped</p> <p>(x) Shoplifted</p> <p>( ) Been Fired</p> <p>(x) Been In A Fist Fight</p> <p>SO FAR: 5 (still pretty lame)<br /></p> <p>Level 3</p> <p>(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person</p> <p>(x ) Skipped School</p> <p>(x) Slept With A Co-worker</p> <p>(x) Seen Someone / Something Die</p> <p>SO FAR: 9 (ooooooh improved score)<br /></p> <p>Level 4</p> <p>(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends</p> <p>( ) Been To Paris</p> <p>(x) Been To England</p> <p>(x) Been On A Plane</p> <p>(x_x) Thrown Up From Drinking</p> <p>SO FAR: 13<br /></p> <p>Level 5</p> <p>(x) Eaten sushi</p> <p>( x) Met someone BECAUSE Of Facebook/Myspace/MXit</p> <p>(x) Been in a Mosh Pit</p> <p>() Don’t know what a Mosh Pit is</p> <p>SO FAR: 16 (ooooooooh LEVELED UP)<br /></p> <p>Level 6</p> <p>(x) Taken Pain Killers</p> <p>(x) Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can’t Have</p> <p>(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By</p> <p>(x) Made A Snow Angel</p> <p>SO FAR: 20 (even number woo hoo)<br /></p> <p>Level 7</p> <p>(x) Had A Tea Party</p> <p>(x) Flown A Kite</p> <p>(x) Built A Sand Castle</p> <p>(x) Gone Mudding</p> <p>(xxxxxXXXXXxxxxxXXXXXxxxx) Played Dress Up</p> <p>SO FAR: 24 (DRESSSSSSSSSSING UP!!!)<br /></p> <p>Level 8</p> <p>(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves</p> <p>(x) Gone Sledding</p> <p>( ) Cheated While Playing A Game</p> <p>(xxxxxxx :( ) Been Lonely</p> <p>(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School</p> <p>SO FAR: 27</p> <p>Level 9</p> <p>(x) Watched The Sun Set</p> <p>( ) Felt An Earthquake</p> <p>(x)Held A Snake</p> <p>SO FAR: 29!<br /></p> <p>Level 10</p> <p>(x) Been Tickled</p> <p>(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized</p> <p>(x) Been Cheated On</p> <p>(x) Been Misunderstood</p> <p>SO FAR: 33</p> <p>Level 11</p> <p>(x) Won A Contest</p> <p>( ) Been Suspended From School</p> <p>(x) Had Detention</p> <p>(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident</p> <p>SO FAR: 36</p> <p>Level 12</p> <p>(though no one EVER believe me that I haven't ) Had / Have Braces</p> <p>(X) Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night</p> <p>( ) Danced In The Moonlight</p> <p>SO FAR: 37<br /></p> <p>Level 13</p> <p>(xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXXxXxX) Hated The Way You Look</p> <p>(x) Witnessed A Crime</p> <p>() Pole Danced</p> <p>(x) Questioned Your Heart</p> <p>( ) Been Obsessed With Post It Notes</p> <p>SO FAR: 41</p> <p>Level 14</p> <p>(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud</p> <p>(X *I spend most of my life lost) Been Lost</p> <p>(x) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World</p> <p>(x) Swam In The Ocean</p> <p>(x) Felt Like You Were Dying</p> <p>SO FAR: 46 geeez this thing is bloody long<br /></p> <p>Level 15</p> <p>(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep</p> <p>(x) Played Cops And Robbers</p> <p>(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers</p> <p>(x) Sang Karaoke</p> <p>(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins</p> <p>SO FAR: 51</p> <p>Level 16</p> <p>(xxxxxxxxx) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn’t</p> <p>(x) Made Prank Phone Call(s)</p> <p>(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose</p> <p>(x) Kissed In The Rain -epic sigh- this is my absolute FAVORITE thing to do<br /></p> <p>SO FAR:55<br /></p> <p>Level 17</p> <p>(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus</p> <p>(x) Watched The Sun Set and/or Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About</p> <p>(x) Blown Bubbles</p> <p>(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere</p> <p>SO FAR: 59<br /></p> <p>Level 18</p> <p>(x) Crashed A Party</p> <p>(x) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People</p> <p>(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading</p> <p>(x) Had A Wish Come True</p> <p>SO FAR: 63</p> <p>Level 19</p> <p>(x) Worn Pearls</p> <p>(x) Jumped Off A Bridge</p> <p>( ) Swam With Dolphins</p> <p>SO FAR: 65</p> <p>Level 20</p> <p>( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube</p> <p>( ) Kissed A Fish o.OWHAT. THE. FFfffffff........<br /></p> <p>(x) Worn The Opposite Gender’s Clothes</p> <p>(x) Sat On A Roof Top</p> <p>SO FAR: 67</p> <p>Level 21</p> <p>(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs</p> <p>() Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel</p> <p>() Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours</p> <p>(x) Recently Stayed Up For A While Talking To Someone You Care About</p> <p>SO FAR: 69 dirty number<br /></p> <p>Level 22</p> <p>(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree</p> <p>(x) Climbed A Tree</p> <p>(x) Had/Been In A Tree House</p> <p>(x) Been Scared Too Watch Scary Movies Alone</p> <p>SO FAR: 72</p> <p>Level 23</p> <p>( ) Believe In Ghosts</p> <p>(x) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes</p> <p>( ) Streaking</p> <p>(x) Visited a Jail</p> <p>SO FAR: 74</p> <p>Level 24</p> <p>(x) Played Chicken</p> <p>(x) Been Told You’re Hot By A Complete Stranger</p> <p>(x) Broken A Bone</p> <p>(x) Been Easily Amused</p> <p>SO FAR: 78<br /></p> <p>Level 25</p> <p>(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later</p> <p>( ) Made a [porn] Movie</p> <p>(x) Caught A Butterfly</p> <p>( x) Laughed So Hard You Cried</p> <p>( x) Cried So Hard You Laughed</p> <p>SO FAR: 82</p> <p>Level 26</p> <p>(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone</p> <p>(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You</p> <p>(x) Cheated On A Test</p> <p>(x) Forgotten Someone’s Name</p> <p>( ) French Braided Someones Hair</p> <p>(x) Gone Skinny Dipping</p> <p>(x) Been Kicked Out Of Your House</p> <p>SO FAR: 89<br /></p> <p>Level 27</p> <p>(x) Rode A Roller Coaster</p> <p>(x) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling</p> <p>(x) Had A Cavity</p> <p>( ) Black-Mailed Someone</p> <p>(x) Been Black Mailed</p> <p>SO FAR: 93</p> <p>Level 28</p> <p>(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Been Used :(<br /></p> <p>(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs</p> <p>(x) Licked by A Cat</p> <p>(x) Bitten Someone</p> <p>(x) Licked Someone</p> <p>SO FAR: 98</p> <p>Level 29</p> <p>(x) Been Shot At/Or Held At Gunpoint</p> <p>( ) Had Intercourse In The Rain</p> <p>() Flattened Someones Tires</p> <p>() Rode Your Bike/Driven Your Car Until The Fuel Light Came On</p> <p>() got 20$ or less worth of fuel</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>TOTAL: 99</p><p><br /></p><p>I am a lame lame person</p><p><br /></p><p>cherry cherry boom boom</p><p><br /></p><p>Em</p><p>x<br /></p>Emuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-60246553564010892962011-01-31T16:29:00.000-08:002011-01-31T16:34:33.654-08:00Oh Facebook-keeping us all connected<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LAWLS</span>!!<br /><br />I was browsing my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">facebook</span> friends list and stumbled across someone I had NO idea who they were so I looked at their profile...so apparently he was the first guy I every gave a drunken <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">BJ</span> to after performing in my underwear in "The Rocky Horror Show" don't <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">cha</span> LOVE <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">facebook</span> to bits for keeping you connected with old friends?<br /><br />I'm going to stay his friend for <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">nostalgia's</span> sake<br /><br />I miss my slutty 18 year old self x3<br /><br />Cherry Cherry Boom Boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-30293270917975438762011-01-28T06:48:00.000-08:002011-01-30T01:23:14.681-08:00The BiSEXual questionLadies!<br /><br />It is 2011!<br /><br />I am back!<br /><br />I am a whore!<br /><br />I am blogging once more!<br /><br />well TRYING to blog...<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span> so I was here wrecking my brain to trying to decide what my first official blog of 2011 should be, should it be sexy, funny, tragic, or boring?<br /><br />Well I've chosen a topic close to my heart....well my vagina really SEX but more specifically sex with bisexual girls.<br /><br />Now I have made a fair few lesbian friends the past year or so and most of them are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">uniform in their </span>agreement that "Bi sexual girls aren't as good in bed as lesbians"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">WTF</span>?<br /><br />I'm not one of these lesbians who excludes bisexuals from their dating pool for fear of getting boy cooties all over me. I've pretty much always had the view that if a girl <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">regardless</span> of how she labels herself is interested in me that makes her "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Emuh</span>-Sexual" and that is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">absolutely</span> fine with me. Bi-<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">sexual</span> girls are just as eager to have sex in my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">experience</span> than lesbians, in fact some have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">deffffffffffffffinatly</span> out lady lusted the lesbians I've been with.<br /><br />For example I semi-dated a girl in uni for a couple of weeks, she was the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">stereotypes</span> of all <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">stereotypes</span> EXCEPT in the bedroom, she point blank refused to go anywhere near my lady bits with <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">anything</span> but a timid finger for 20 seconds and I'm pretty sure the very word "vagina" scared her beyond belief. It was without a doubt THE worst sex I've ever had with anyone and all this from a gold star lesbian who claimed to never fail to make a girl cum....except for me obviously sigh :s<br /><br />Now in my time I've had the good fortune to sleep with a very bi-sexual girl, who on the surface was very femme, you know the type who would look at you're naked body and exclaim "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">OMG</span> YOU HAVE <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">BEWBS</span>!" well blow m if she wasn't as hungry for lady bits as I am! Not only that she was a down right expert with no fear of trying things not just giving that area a bit of a poke with a spoon (don't ask). It was by far the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">best</span> sex I've ever had with <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">anyone</span> EVER and all this from a girl my friends would describe as undesirable and avoid simply because she was bi and would "have no idea what she was doing"....LESBIANS <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">WTF</span>!?<br /><br />What I'm trying to say ladies is that ANYONE can be good or bad at doing the sexual thing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">regardless</span> of how they identify, don't assume that a lesbian will be amazing in bed and that a bisexual won't go down on you. I'm just fed up with the closed mindedness of a community that has to deal with a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">similar</span> thing every day. So ladies don't go limiting yourself by being bi-hating....they're called bi-SEXUAL for a reason.<br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-72154648621181425212011-01-20T16:03:00.000-08:002011-01-20T16:07:25.325-08:00tomorrow...my dear ones i get internetz at home and shall return with new stories of lesbian randomness!<br /><br />huzah!<br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-39448076421497659982010-12-11T19:02:00.000-08:002011-01-28T16:15:33.865-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Day 12The final day of the 12 days annnnnnnnd well...IT'S ME!!<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OOzWlx7hyP0?fs=1&hl=en_GB"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OOzWlx7hyP0?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /><br />Again with my big ugly mug in her faces....seeing as it is the last of my 12 days of christmas...some logic...the 12 days of lesbian christmas enjoy!<br /><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-54207928118887357292010-12-10T17:19:00.000-08:002010-12-10T17:21:04.704-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Days 10 and 11I know I missed yesturday BUT HERE is a super awesome video to make it up to you :D<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qDueTdNtA4c?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qDueTdNtA4c?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-40189218712043517062010-12-09T04:30:00.000-08:002010-12-09T04:54:10.152-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Day 9Again I'm taking liberties with my deffinition of "Lesbian" but I figured a couple of things:<br /><br />1)Tori Amos is a musical icon in the queer community so it's ok<br />2) This song is too beautiful not to share<br />3) this is MY calander and I'm a lesbian so that's link enough :D<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zS_uaSaVxKk?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zS_uaSaVxKk?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-73089877139798364272010-12-08T03:26:00.000-08:002010-12-08T03:32:23.983-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Day 8Sometimes Christmas can be such a terrible DRAG!<br /><br />see what I did there??<br /><br />eh? eh? eh?<br /><br />Of forget it here's the video...<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jNmj-TsfGvc?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jNmj-TsfGvc?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-11733995221521914312010-12-07T03:34:00.000-08:002010-12-07T03:36:29.349-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Day 7Today we have my personal favorite British Sapphoic Lady Sue Perkins enjoying a Victorian Christmas Dinner :D<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9oCUYSr2zwE?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9oCUYSr2zwE?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />Sue Perkins...nom nom nom<br /><br />Cherry Cherry Boom Boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-89245375633552999872010-12-05T16:36:00.000-08:002010-12-05T16:39:38.395-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advent Calender Day 6I don't care who you are or what you listen to you all have to agree that MR's voice is dripping with sex at all times<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9SJURi6KBww?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9SJURi6KBww?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-59985249301674187982010-12-05T03:37:00.000-08:002010-12-05T03:47:42.115-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advant Calender Day 5ok ladies it is around now that I tend to panic about what to buy only 20 days away and I have NO ideas...luckily for me Babeland have some awesomely sexy ideas and if you order now plenty of time for stuff to arrive for christmaka eve :D (probably NSFW unless you work in a sexy place)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.babeland.com/sexy/gift-guides/holiday">Babeland's 2010 Christmaka gift list</a><br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-71557934243665185902010-12-03T17:16:00.000-08:002010-12-03T17:21:07.469-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advant Calender Day 4NOT strictly lesbian but you gotta heart the gaga ~(incidently this is the first gaga toon I ever heard :s)<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qIYVcdcYD18?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qIYVcdcYD18?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-49015362876354966732010-12-03T03:53:00.000-08:002010-12-03T04:16:04.007-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advant Calender Day 3Bored of the same old nonsense where some child crys and the head halls off the baby Jesus? NO FEAR! Alternative christmas play comes in the form of "Thank You" by Dale Anderson....pretty sure the PTA will get on board :D<br /><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/17878380/Thank-You---a-lesbian-Christmas-play">Thank you-A Lesbian Christmas Play</a><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-34967402556657009102010-12-02T15:45:00.000-08:002010-12-02T15:53:21.469-08:00The “G” wordOk friends I have astounding news<br /><br />After much deliberation I have some exciting news<br /><br />I The Emuh geeky writer of this blog have gained an actual real life, no I haven’t made her up, yes she is actually real and amazing, Girlfriend.<br /><br />I’m going to let that marinade with you all for a second as you remember who I am and what I am like<br /><br />Still need a moment?<br /><br />Alright….<br /><br /><br />….<br /><br /><br />Ok that’s long enough!<br /><br />Geez you guys is it really that hard to believe?<br /><br />I know it really is I can hardly believe it myself if she hadn’t flicked me in the ear earlier I would still be questioning her existence.<br /><br />I’m not sure how to cope with it to be perfectly honest I’ve never been anyone’s *gulp* girlfriend before that wasn’t long distance, completely horrid or imaginary. I’ve been trying my best not too be so Emuh on the situation but the truth of the matter is GP (Gal Pal) makes me feel and act like a teenager who is going out with their favourite pop star. I have and always have been and will continue to be the funny but fugly friend in the movie of life; you know the un-fancied cynical one you go to when you’re love life is in fail mode? Me all over but now GP has made me a soppy romantic mess. And I finally, for the first time in my sad existence I feel like a co-star in my own life.<br /><br />I’m no Shane but I’m no virgin either but I’ve never been with someone who seems to find the hot mess in my facebook profile picture attractive. I know she’s not legally blind still it’s pretty close, but it’s a very strange sensation to be called pretty by someone as beautiful as GP is. Any “romance” (and I use the term very loosely) has been the result of someone else’s desperation. Because I have been female and there is usually the only reason people go near me but GP has been sober and has still asked to go out with me again and enjoys kissing my face in public it’s incredibly strange. People have always been too ashamed of me to admit we’re even friend let alone “an item” <br /><br />That’s why I’m terrified I’m going to mess it up somehow <br /><br />She makes me ache, and tingle, and shiver, and makes me want to write poetry (awful idea I’m an awful poet~), and makes me nervous as hell when I see her, an and and and OH. MY.GAWD I am so going to get my heart broken when she figures out I’m not worthy to kiss the tip of her fingers. I’m ridiculously into her, like RIDICULOUSLY into her but she never quite understands how she makes me feel. So I guess I’m just going to HAVE to figure out how to be a girlfriend pretty quickly so that she realises….<br /><br /><br />Cherry cherry boom boom readers<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6099518344039872360.post-32403957061348855422010-12-02T03:38:00.000-08:002010-12-02T03:39:42.474-08:00Emuhs Lesbian Advant Calender Day 2Ho ho ho!<br /><br />Merry Christmas!<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NJicjWl7Vtc?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NJicjWl7Vtc?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />cherry cherry boom boom<br /><br />Em<br />xEmuhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461314331668217805noreply@blogger.com0