Monday, 13 September 2010
Dating advice vidja
This has happened to me and I wanted to warn the ladies out there who I lurve through the time hounered lesbian tradtion of guitar based folk song
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
The top ten reasons why being a lesbian is awesome
Lately I’ve been feeling a bit down in the dumps about being the only gay in the village so I have come up with 10 reasons why being a gay lady is awesome:
1-Women are much better kissers then men
2-Men have beards, beards give you a rash…woman do not have beards, so you don’t get a rash
3-Lady smells are so much nicer than man smell (May I never endure the nasty whiff of Lynx EVER again!)
4-Women are more fun to flirt with
5-Sneaky lesbian ninja checking out straight girls who like you as a friend
6-Comfortable shoes and jeans are considered perfectly acceptable clubbing wear
7-Being able to read DIVA magazine on trains and cause a scandal
8-Lady loving in the boudoir
9-The ability to declare “you’re just saying that because ‘m a lesbian!” whenever any of my friends are mean to me
10-AWESOME haircuts
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
1-Women are much better kissers then men
2-Men have beards, beards give you a rash…woman do not have beards, so you don’t get a rash
3-Lady smells are so much nicer than man smell (May I never endure the nasty whiff of Lynx EVER again!)
4-Women are more fun to flirt with
5-Sneaky lesbian ninja checking out straight girls who like you as a friend
6-Comfortable shoes and jeans are considered perfectly acceptable clubbing wear
7-Being able to read DIVA magazine on trains and cause a scandal
8-Lady loving in the boudoir
9-The ability to declare “you’re just saying that because ‘m a lesbian!” whenever any of my friends are mean to me
10-AWESOME haircuts
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Straight girls in the gay bar
Hey hey hey
I'm sorry for being a total dork and not updating...I don't even have a good excuse all I've been doing is watching old episodes of Judge Judy and eating cake mix.
Sigh
Well I am home and offically graduated (with a first Ithank you) and I a offically unemployed and hating my life. I've been reading my back entries here and wish I had a fun exctiting lesbean topic to catch up on but t'would all be lies as the only lesbian thing I have been doing is texting my lesbian pose on the mainland and hating the fact there are no gays in Belfast.
But aside from laying in my pjs all day and drinking too much milk I have found time to go out with my straight girlfriends and they inadvertedly inspired a subject for me.
why are straight girls so intrested/afraid to go in gay bars?
that's it that's the topic...
ok so recently I had to miss Liverpool Pride to go to a friends birthday party and durring conversation the topic of where we should go came up. I suggested a well know gay bar here called "The Kremlin" and a very homo friend place called "Black Box" which are both pretty fun places to go on a saturday night due to the music they play. This was greeted with nods from a couple and then with downright fear by the others. One of my st8est friends piped up "I'd be kinda afraid to go there I mean...what if...something...." and she went quiet clearly uneased by my dykish pressence. But what if what? a girl hit on her? surely this friend had had boys she didn't like hit on her at some point so what was the big dilema? was she afraid a tribe of justin beiber look alikes were gonna lick her and claim her as a sacrifice to the mighty goddess lesbiannia? it made me a little sad that a lot of straight girls are still afraid of us lil ol' lesbeans, surely they don't think we're so dumb and beast like that we actively seek out straight girls to de-flower and beat...sigh I think sadly this may be the case.
Then there are the other straight girls who want to come see the freak show, to be disgusted and delighted by the "un-natural" goings on when people hook up. These adventuerous types also annoy me as they too treat us like animals that need to be observed and apart from a certain ex-girlfriend of mine we do not act in that beasty way.
It makes me die a little on the inside that in this age of SKINS and Sugar Rush that going to a gay bar is like some sort of epic quest or gruesome trek for straight people. I am often dragged to loud obnoxious places where the straight couple seem to be attempting to both devour each other and reproduce in one act and I have little choic in the matter it is everywhere I look. It is a horrible double standered that needs to disappear.
This whole scenario made me aware of how some of my straight friends treat me, as a cautionary tale of what may happen to them. And is perhaps a reason it is often tricky for lesbian ladys to be accepted by their straight friends, there's that constant question in each others minds "does she fancy me?"/ "does she think I fancy her?"
And also it is not my fault the straight bars play crap music on a saturday night
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
I'm sorry for being a total dork and not updating...I don't even have a good excuse all I've been doing is watching old episodes of Judge Judy and eating cake mix.
Sigh
Well I am home and offically graduated (with a first Ithank you) and I a offically unemployed and hating my life. I've been reading my back entries here and wish I had a fun exctiting lesbean topic to catch up on but t'would all be lies as the only lesbian thing I have been doing is texting my lesbian pose on the mainland and hating the fact there are no gays in Belfast.
But aside from laying in my pjs all day and drinking too much milk I have found time to go out with my straight girlfriends and they inadvertedly inspired a subject for me.
why are straight girls so intrested/afraid to go in gay bars?
that's it that's the topic...
ok so recently I had to miss Liverpool Pride to go to a friends birthday party and durring conversation the topic of where we should go came up. I suggested a well know gay bar here called "The Kremlin" and a very homo friend place called "Black Box" which are both pretty fun places to go on a saturday night due to the music they play. This was greeted with nods from a couple and then with downright fear by the others. One of my st8est friends piped up "I'd be kinda afraid to go there I mean...what if...something...." and she went quiet clearly uneased by my dykish pressence. But what if what? a girl hit on her? surely this friend had had boys she didn't like hit on her at some point so what was the big dilema? was she afraid a tribe of justin beiber look alikes were gonna lick her and claim her as a sacrifice to the mighty goddess lesbiannia? it made me a little sad that a lot of straight girls are still afraid of us lil ol' lesbeans, surely they don't think we're so dumb and beast like that we actively seek out straight girls to de-flower and beat...sigh I think sadly this may be the case.
Then there are the other straight girls who want to come see the freak show, to be disgusted and delighted by the "un-natural" goings on when people hook up. These adventuerous types also annoy me as they too treat us like animals that need to be observed and apart from a certain ex-girlfriend of mine we do not act in that beasty way.
It makes me die a little on the inside that in this age of SKINS and Sugar Rush that going to a gay bar is like some sort of epic quest or gruesome trek for straight people. I am often dragged to loud obnoxious places where the straight couple seem to be attempting to both devour each other and reproduce in one act and I have little choic in the matter it is everywhere I look. It is a horrible double standered that needs to disappear.
This whole scenario made me aware of how some of my straight friends treat me, as a cautionary tale of what may happen to them. And is perhaps a reason it is often tricky for lesbian ladys to be accepted by their straight friends, there's that constant question in each others minds "does she fancy me?"/ "does she think I fancy her?"
And also it is not my fault the straight bars play crap music on a saturday night
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Gay rights takes another baby step through the doors of justice
Prop 8 was just ruled unconstitutional!
YAY!
this is such great news not only for gay rights but for humanity in general
excellent end to the summer...and it only took 2 years :D
imagine what we can do in the next 10
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
YAY!
this is such great news not only for gay rights but for humanity in general
excellent end to the summer...and it only took 2 years :D
imagine what we can do in the next 10
cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Life begins at 22
Sigh
I sit here alone in a dark corner of a cafe in my hometown of Lisburn with my iced-mocha and free wi-fi and think how far this town has come in the past 10 years
and then I think that's all balony and it is I who have changed
I've gone from the reclussive teenager with a desire to only disappear to a woman who can sit alone in a crowded cafe in a silly shabby hat drinking pretencious coffee and chatting idily to the old ladies that sit at the table next to me.
I've achieved one of my ultimate life goals and I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself.
Teachers once told my parents that I was incabible of passing the 11+ with anything higher than a C2...(I proved them wrong by getting a B1) and now I sit here with a BA first class degree and my entire life streched out before me.
It is incredibly scary to think that in the next 10 years I will be starting my carrer, moving to a new city alone, and be turning 30 a thought that has petrified me since my 16th birthday.
I am thankful that my life hasn't hit it's ultimate peak yet, grateful I was a geek, and I hope I remain so because it makes for more interesting conversations than the status quo (I doubt the Mean Girl types have ever had a debate about the possibility that Prof. McGonogal ever had sex once transformed into a cat and wither that made her guilty of beastiality....cough)
so here is to the next 10 years where hopefully the blog enteries will make for much more interesting reading as I start the horrofying yet exciting journey into adulthood
but don't worry I intend to never grow up...Harry Potter World 2011 is gonna happen!
Luffs n cookies
Em
x
I sit here alone in a dark corner of a cafe in my hometown of Lisburn with my iced-mocha and free wi-fi and think how far this town has come in the past 10 years
and then I think that's all balony and it is I who have changed
I've gone from the reclussive teenager with a desire to only disappear to a woman who can sit alone in a crowded cafe in a silly shabby hat drinking pretencious coffee and chatting idily to the old ladies that sit at the table next to me.
I've achieved one of my ultimate life goals and I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself.
Teachers once told my parents that I was incabible of passing the 11+ with anything higher than a C2...(I proved them wrong by getting a B1) and now I sit here with a BA first class degree and my entire life streched out before me.
It is incredibly scary to think that in the next 10 years I will be starting my carrer, moving to a new city alone, and be turning 30 a thought that has petrified me since my 16th birthday.
I am thankful that my life hasn't hit it's ultimate peak yet, grateful I was a geek, and I hope I remain so because it makes for more interesting conversations than the status quo (I doubt the Mean Girl types have ever had a debate about the possibility that Prof. McGonogal ever had sex once transformed into a cat and wither that made her guilty of beastiality....cough)
so here is to the next 10 years where hopefully the blog enteries will make for much more interesting reading as I start the horrofying yet exciting journey into adulthood
but don't worry I intend to never grow up...Harry Potter World 2011 is gonna happen!
Luffs n cookies
Em
x
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Tegan and Sara saved my soul
Hey hey gays sorry for the delay but I’ve still been in post concert ecstasy the past week.
Oh my and WHAT a concert it was…
I arrived with my friend Sarah in tow (who I’ve been attempting to seduce for the past 6 years but she remains impervious to my advances woe is me) on that warm summer evening and we were greeted to a mile long wash of check shirts and stylishly straightened Justin Beiber haircuts we knew we were in the right place. We decided to skip the line and have a coffee as we waited for the doors to open an hour later. Over mocha lattes I explained to Sarah the uniform of the lesbian and why Tegan and Sara have such a HUGE international following which made me feel epic win as Sarah is a music aficionado.
I entered the Mandela hall a bundle of caffeine induced nerves and practically downed my first pint. I’d changed no less than 4 times for this gig, did my hair too much and was giddy as a girl could be. I was more excited about this gig than I was for my first date…THAT is how much I love Tegan and Sara.
They have been one of my favourite bands since my first girlfriend sent me their song “The Con” in order to “Express her feelings for me as she couldn’t find the words” how tragically baby gay but it worked. I’ve been hooked on them ever since, but never dreamed I’d ever get to see them live and in person.
The warm up act was the lame of LAME he really did not understand the crucial moment he was involved in. But after a few boos from antsy lesbians he got the idea and soon shut up…
Then they arrived to the loudest reception I’ve ever heard and yours truly had flirted her way up to the third row so I was very close. I proceeded to experience something quite spiritual it was fantastic they played the longest set I’ve ever seen a band play (almost 3hours) played not only their new track but ALL of their hits and every one of my favourite songs…it was like I had wrote the set list it was orgasmic. I heard all of the songs I listened to during my first break up but instead of feeling sadness I felt nothing but un-adulterated joy and it was like a re-birth. I have never felt so connected with myself EVER it was fan-bloody-tastic…an experience that will never be topped.
Since that concert I have felt something bubbling inside of me and it’s still there brewing away.
Tegan and Sara saved my soul
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
Oh my and WHAT a concert it was…
I arrived with my friend Sarah in tow (who I’ve been attempting to seduce for the past 6 years but she remains impervious to my advances woe is me) on that warm summer evening and we were greeted to a mile long wash of check shirts and stylishly straightened Justin Beiber haircuts we knew we were in the right place. We decided to skip the line and have a coffee as we waited for the doors to open an hour later. Over mocha lattes I explained to Sarah the uniform of the lesbian and why Tegan and Sara have such a HUGE international following which made me feel epic win as Sarah is a music aficionado.
I entered the Mandela hall a bundle of caffeine induced nerves and practically downed my first pint. I’d changed no less than 4 times for this gig, did my hair too much and was giddy as a girl could be. I was more excited about this gig than I was for my first date…THAT is how much I love Tegan and Sara.
They have been one of my favourite bands since my first girlfriend sent me their song “The Con” in order to “Express her feelings for me as she couldn’t find the words” how tragically baby gay but it worked. I’ve been hooked on them ever since, but never dreamed I’d ever get to see them live and in person.
The warm up act was the lame of LAME he really did not understand the crucial moment he was involved in. But after a few boos from antsy lesbians he got the idea and soon shut up…
Then they arrived to the loudest reception I’ve ever heard and yours truly had flirted her way up to the third row so I was very close. I proceeded to experience something quite spiritual it was fantastic they played the longest set I’ve ever seen a band play (almost 3hours) played not only their new track but ALL of their hits and every one of my favourite songs…it was like I had wrote the set list it was orgasmic. I heard all of the songs I listened to during my first break up but instead of feeling sadness I felt nothing but un-adulterated joy and it was like a re-birth. I have never felt so connected with myself EVER it was fan-bloody-tastic…an experience that will never be topped.
Since that concert I have felt something bubbling inside of me and it’s still there brewing away.
Tegan and Sara saved my soul
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
Sunday, 13 June 2010
I want my copy of Diva tesco why do you deny me!
I’ve been reading DIVA since coming out 3 years ago and have been happily purchasing it without problems in Liverpool since then. DIVA has been many a great conversation starter on buses and makes me feel like I am a connected gay, a lesbian with some class, who just happens to love the gossip and pretty girls amongst the arty articles. Now that I’m back in Ireland I’ve suffered withdrawals from my daily dose of gay that I’m used to (what with my bi (steady on) daily trips to the Lisbon and Thursday nights in G-Bar) but at least I could relay on DIVA to keep my gaydar burning…or so I thought.
This month I went to the nearest Tesco superstore to fill my lesbian needs (who are listed as stockist) and smiled as I passed the smaller Men’s section and saw amongst the usual ititts, teeth n technology collection, GT and Men’s Health popping their gay friendly heads up from the shelf. “OH JOY!” I declared “They shall have DIVA! These are gay friendly folk after all!” I was sadly disappointed as I was confronted by the usually tabloid rubbish, Wedding material, and several different psychology magazines. Now I have it on very good authority that there are more lesbians in Lisburn (where I am sadly stuck) than psychologists and people here are generally mental due to the earth crushing boredom of living here.
So I politely inquired at customer services desk and was meet with a vacant stare and as I explained a bit more the guy on shift started to drool slightly and didn't have a clue as to what I should do. While the situation is pretty lame what made me more angry than anything and made me put my “Ranty feminist” hat on was the fact that they were happily selling the gay boy favourites and didn’t have ANYTHING for us gay girls….why have GT and not DIVA? Are lesbians not welcome but flamboyant lovely lads who kiss lads are? A sad message for any baby dyke looking for an outlet for her curiosities…I was that baby dyke and wouldn’t like to see others suffer.
Luckily I have happy news that the Eason’s 3 miles away DOES stock DIVA but I feel Tesco should contribute to my £2.30 bus fare to retrieve my favourite magazine so that I can keep up with the latest Justin Bieber haircut and shrug jeans because being gay is tricky enough without being out of the fashion loop which would surely cause my ultimate dating death when I do return to normality.
Oh the lengths I will go to JUST to stay in the lesbian loop of cool
sigh
Cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
This month I went to the nearest Tesco superstore to fill my lesbian needs (who are listed as stockist) and smiled as I passed the smaller Men’s section and saw amongst the usual ititts, teeth n technology collection, GT and Men’s Health popping their gay friendly heads up from the shelf. “OH JOY!” I declared “They shall have DIVA! These are gay friendly folk after all!” I was sadly disappointed as I was confronted by the usually tabloid rubbish, Wedding material, and several different psychology magazines. Now I have it on very good authority that there are more lesbians in Lisburn (where I am sadly stuck) than psychologists and people here are generally mental due to the earth crushing boredom of living here.
So I politely inquired at customer services desk and was meet with a vacant stare and as I explained a bit more the guy on shift started to drool slightly and didn't have a clue as to what I should do. While the situation is pretty lame what made me more angry than anything and made me put my “Ranty feminist” hat on was the fact that they were happily selling the gay boy favourites and didn’t have ANYTHING for us gay girls….why have GT and not DIVA? Are lesbians not welcome but flamboyant lovely lads who kiss lads are? A sad message for any baby dyke looking for an outlet for her curiosities…I was that baby dyke and wouldn’t like to see others suffer.
Luckily I have happy news that the Eason’s 3 miles away DOES stock DIVA but I feel Tesco should contribute to my £2.30 bus fare to retrieve my favourite magazine so that I can keep up with the latest Justin Bieber haircut and shrug jeans because being gay is tricky enough without being out of the fashion loop which would surely cause my ultimate dating death when I do return to normality.
Oh the lengths I will go to JUST to stay in the lesbian loop of cool
sigh
Cherry cherry boom boom
Em
x
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