Doods I'm home and rather than having my mum call me to pry into my private life it's gotton much worse because she’s started to do it face to face…
She’s tried having the awkward and very un-necessary “girlfriend” conversation…everyone I mention who is my friend and female comes under speculation!
And she’s been at the “why haven’t you settled down yet?” droning every since we watched wife swap with that Rhona Cameron…she came out with the best line I’ve ever heard about my future….on the subject of gay adoption and babies “Emma just think when you’re about 25, 26 you can adopt a baby”
HOLD THE PHONE! I’ m already 21 and clearly single so what makes my mother think I’m going to be MARRIED by the time I’m 25? She is clearly deluded as it is very clear I am not girlfriend material never mind GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING BABIES! I’ve always maintained I didn’t want to settle down until I was at least 35 but my mother is hell bent on making sure I feel as lonely as possible with all this marriage and girlfriend talk…she makes it sound so simple like going out to buy milk!
You know people think I’m joking but my mother has been going on about me getting married since I was 16! The more she goes on about it I swear the more fate drags me away from any kind of potential relationship…it’s freaking me out….I’m 21! MARRIAGE! WHAT IS THAT!?! First she was all mad at me for being gay…now she’s mad at me because I haven’t got an ethnic baby! She needs to stop watching lesbians on TV because she’s getting ideas….and frankly I am a little afraid….
I mean it’s lovely she hasn’t burned me with a cross and tossed me out the house but at the same time….it’s weird…I’m one of those people who thinks mums should stay far away from ones love life, I hate talking about my business as you all know (hence the need for a LJ) and my mum is simply DESPERATE for a daughter that pours her secrets over tea and little finger sandwiches so we’re having those:
“Emma darling why are you so sad…is it about a girl?”
“I’m watching TV I’m fine…”
“But you’re not…what’s the matter?”
“Mum leave me alone!”
“But tell me what’s wrong…I’m your mum you can tell me!”
“No I’m watching the apprentice! And NOTHING is wrong”
“FINE! Go brood in your room!”
“I’M NOT BROODING I’M WATCHING TV!”
“FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Conversations…
WHAT IS THAT!
I refuse to have an ethnic baby until I'm at least 40...
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Being Gay and single....
Can you spot the theme this week?
Well this isn't a whine about being single....this is more....a quick ramble about how being Gay and single disrupts your life....
To avoid long winded complaining and soul searching I'm going to try and do this in list form....
1-Comming out and STAYING out: Yerp it's tough for anyone to come out but once you're OUT it's very tough to get people to take you seriously if you haven't got a partner. It's the old:
"Oh this is a phase...you're not REALLLLLLY gay because you're not actually dating anyone....so you're not doing it, you're not gay"
o.O
When a straight person is single (or the most part) people don't question their "straight-ness"....no ones going up to Bridget Jones and saying "Yo Bridget maybe you like minge!" because she's a single girl....do you see what I mean?
Parents re really bad at this "single=not really gay" thing...it gives them a slightly weird hope that you can't get rid off not matter what you say, you could wear rainbow pjs in a gaypride parade waving a flag that says "I <3 Vaginas" and they will still try and set you up with George form next door....
It is really tough to keep telling people "I AM ACTUALLY GAY AS THE DAY IS LONG!!!" but keep it up because you don't come out once you come out at least twice a month....it is true
2-Self doubt aka "am I really Gay?" syndrome- There is such a thing belive me it exists, I've had it, and know others who have so DO NOT PANIC! You can be the most out, proud lesbian ever but if you're single in the world, you'll still have those lonely moments where you think:
"Am I really? or is this just a phase/cry for attention/brain related problem"
Do not panic....when you aren't having any fun times you over-think EVERYTHING and start processing the littlest thing like when you watch Doctor Who and start developing impossible sexual feelings towards David Tennant....*looks around* cough.....but it's OK that doesn't make you straight....
3-All you're friends are in reletionships: This pretty self explanatory....yerp....
4-You don't seem to fit in at events: Really sucks going places alone....so either grit your teeth and go it alone or bribe your friend to go...it really isn't nice to go alone anywhere but occasionally it's a good idea because it's important to do things you like for yourself...also you just meet someone doing the thing you like...occasionally....so I'm told...
So that's it the bad times involved when your Gay and single....
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
Well this isn't a whine about being single....this is more....a quick ramble about how being Gay and single disrupts your life....
To avoid long winded complaining and soul searching I'm going to try and do this in list form....
1-Comming out and STAYING out: Yerp it's tough for anyone to come out but once you're OUT it's very tough to get people to take you seriously if you haven't got a partner. It's the old:
"Oh this is a phase...you're not REALLLLLLY gay because you're not actually dating anyone....so you're not doing it, you're not gay"
o.O
When a straight person is single (or the most part) people don't question their "straight-ness"....no ones going up to Bridget Jones and saying "Yo Bridget maybe you like minge!" because she's a single girl....do you see what I mean?
Parents re really bad at this "single=not really gay" thing...it gives them a slightly weird hope that you can't get rid off not matter what you say, you could wear rainbow pjs in a gaypride parade waving a flag that says "I <3 Vaginas" and they will still try and set you up with George form next door....
It is really tough to keep telling people "I AM ACTUALLY GAY AS THE DAY IS LONG!!!" but keep it up because you don't come out once you come out at least twice a month....it is true
2-Self doubt aka "am I really Gay?" syndrome- There is such a thing belive me it exists, I've had it, and know others who have so DO NOT PANIC! You can be the most out, proud lesbian ever but if you're single in the world, you'll still have those lonely moments where you think:
"Am I really? or is this just a phase/cry for attention/brain related problem"
Do not panic....when you aren't having any fun times you over-think EVERYTHING and start processing the littlest thing like when you watch Doctor Who and start developing impossible sexual feelings towards David Tennant....*looks around* cough.....but it's OK that doesn't make you straight....
3-All you're friends are in reletionships: This pretty self explanatory....yerp....
4-You don't seem to fit in at events: Really sucks going places alone....so either grit your teeth and go it alone or bribe your friend to go...it really isn't nice to go alone anywhere but occasionally it's a good idea because it's important to do things you like for yourself...also you just meet someone doing the thing you like...occasionally....so I'm told...
So that's it the bad times involved when your Gay and single....
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
Em
x
THE REASON!!!
After simply YEARS of trying to figure out what the heck was up with the singles-ness I have finally discovered....THE REASON!!!
BAD TIMES!
Cherry Cherry BOOM BOOM
Em
x
BAD TIMES!
Cherry Cherry BOOM BOOM
Em
x
Thursday, 5 March 2009
"There are A LOT of crazy people out there....and you will date them"
"There are A LOT of crazy people out there....and you will date them"
Ok we all know what a whinney biatch I am about being single.....not gonna get into it....but I watched this video today....and without sounding super cheesy it SPOKE to me xD
(the girl also says "Not in a Bax" and that made me smile)
So why am I doing my monthly "Single hate hate hate" thing?Well my house mate used to be my buddy in crying about our singleness....cept now she's gone and got back togather with her American boyfriend and ergo I am truely the only single girl left in the entire university...if not the world.
Here's the deal with me...I WANT to date but I can't because I'm so frickin' afraid....
I have....THE FEAR!!! (SCARY ECHO VOICE)
You know THE FEAR!!!!!....?
That evil little nagging that makes you think really dumb things when you think you've meet someone you could possibly be in to?
Things like...
"Oh they don't really like me they're just being polite"
"Wow they're being nice to me...I'm no way good enough to be talking to this person"
"Oh they like me as a friend...it's because I'm funny...oh god stop telling jokes!"
"They're smiling and looking at me...clearly they want me to introduce them to my friend"
"Oh they made out with me that was a kind act of chariety"
"OK they have their hand on my ass...clearly they are trying to rob me"
You know all that kind of thing....So I'm appaling at it all but it's time to face facts
I'M DESTINED TO BE ALONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you know what as long as I can have a Dog called Bunny and a Cat called Gilbert I can handle it BWAHAHAHAHA!!
This is all Rachels fault damn her and her happiness!
Ok we all know what a whinney biatch I am about being single.....not gonna get into it....but I watched this video today....and without sounding super cheesy it SPOKE to me xD
(the girl also says "Not in a Bax" and that made me smile)
So why am I doing my monthly "Single hate hate hate" thing?Well my house mate used to be my buddy in crying about our singleness....cept now she's gone and got back togather with her American boyfriend and ergo I am truely the only single girl left in the entire university...if not the world.
Here's the deal with me...I WANT to date but I can't because I'm so frickin' afraid....
I have....THE FEAR!!! (SCARY ECHO VOICE)
You know THE FEAR!!!!!....?
That evil little nagging that makes you think really dumb things when you think you've meet someone you could possibly be in to?
Things like...
"Oh they don't really like me they're just being polite"
"Wow they're being nice to me...I'm no way good enough to be talking to this person"
"Oh they like me as a friend...it's because I'm funny...oh god stop telling jokes!"
"They're smiling and looking at me...clearly they want me to introduce them to my friend"
"Oh they made out with me that was a kind act of chariety"
"OK they have their hand on my ass...clearly they are trying to rob me"
You know all that kind of thing....So I'm appaling at it all but it's time to face facts
I'M DESTINED TO BE ALONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you know what as long as I can have a Dog called Bunny and a Cat called Gilbert I can handle it BWAHAHAHAHA!!
This is all Rachels fault damn her and her happiness!
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