I tried to help a spider out the bath and it committed suicide…
I like spiders and most other creepy crawlies…except slugs and snails…they’re just gross…so I try my best to save them from a fate down the drain or all smooshed against the wall. Most people think it’s kind of weird to try and save the tiny friends rather than just scream and throw shoes at them….
So tonight I was just washing up before bed and notice a large spider in the bath I decided to call him Ralph…so being nature girl I tried to collect Ralph with ease and release him out the window…unfortunately Ralph decided that was a fate worse than death and decided he’d rather jump out my hands and down the drain…
For some reason it’s made me super depressed…is this the effect I have on all creatures?
Was Ralph just a one off or is it me?
Do people prefer a desperate escape that may result in injury or death rather than spend a minute in my company?!?
This spider has clawed open my chest and pulled my heart out revealing the truth about my endeavours into love and friendship!?
OH RALPH YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!!?!?!
FUCK YOU RALPH!
I’M A NICE PERSON!
FUCK YOUR SPIDER ASS!
I TRIED TO HELP YOU RALPH!
I tried to free you from the horrors of the bath tub and you went and leapt down the stinking abyss that is the drain!
So R.I.P Ralph you spider a-hole!
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom