Friday, 30 January 2009

Should I stay or should I go?

How Angels and Aids led to Prop 8

Welcome to my life....

OK as some of you may know I am a theatrical studies erm student and we're doing "Angels in America" which I'm sure you know...if you don't it's a stunning play about Life as a homosexual and the Aids crisis of the 80s I suggest everyone who hasn't reads it because it's really amazing. Anyway we were researching some facts about the policy in place that Gay men can't give blood and somehow....SOMEHOW we got talking about prop. 8

I don't know if you've noticed buy I am more than a bit active in my persuit of knowledge when it comes to gay rights so I showed and informed my group some information. None of them could belive that Homosexuality is still considered a crime in the states, or that Gay unions don't have the same rights as straight ones.

It was so fantastic to see all these people agree and talk about it and agreeing that it is absurd it just goes to show that by educating people does make a difference. It really made me happy that people agree with me that aren't gay...having the straightest of the straight agreed really validated my argument.

So yay for educated breeders
it was good times

oh and I'm playing Joe and have to come out to my mum on the I guess I can get all Stanislavsky on that and draw from real life

Cheery Cheery Boom Boom


Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Dear holier than thou housemate...


I'm 2 stories above you and can STILL here your obnoxious laughter and conversation

It is bad enough I must live with you in the first place

I warned you ast night about the fucking noise and tonight I will be willing to slap a bitch....if not more

for your own safety I suggest you and your skanky ass boyfriend keep it down

Some of actual still GO to our classes just because you don't doesn't mean the world has stopped.

Wake me again you shall feel my chain wallet connect to your skanky ass face



your murderer to be

Sunday, 25 January 2009

My new vlog!

Don't ask me why but have asked yours truely to do a weekly vlog!

here's the first installment

"Mistresses Episode One"

here's a preveiw:

I haven't got a name for the vlog so any suggestions? I the romantic one?

OK as a single lady (yeah I know REAL suprising....) I have time to think what I want in a "partner" and thus far here's my list...

They have to be...
-able to laugh at themselves
-un-ashamed to be dating me (I've had this problem loads)
-smell good
-just generally a nice person

That's not a lot to ask right?


then I started thinking about what I'd want my partner to do for me...
-randomly get me something they know I'll love (like weird little things like stickers or badges)
-take me to weird places like a musem or art gallery
-(sappy OTT romantic here but...) not be afraid to write me a letter....
-Make me playlists of new music I'll like
-be content with a friday night in with pizza and cheesy movies
-regular cuddles
-accepy my craziness

Then I realised something...I've done all the romatic things for I the romanic one? Oh man! what!

So I want to date someone who does the things I do?

No wonder I'm single I'd never ever ever consider dating anyone who was anything like is that why I keep getting my heart broken?



See this is why dating should be a government funded and we'd all be entered into a national database and be assigned someone to date...


I hate this dating malarchy

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


Saturday, 17 January 2009

A letter to my neighbour...

Dear Mr Asshole,

Your car alarm has been going on and on and on for around an hour.

It is 4:10am and I am very much le pissed

I suggest you turn it off before an angry tired lesbian comes to your door and beats you with a rusty spork and some tampoons.


Angry lesbian across the street with tampoons and sporks a plenty

Oh snap I thinks I is in major trouble...

Oh snaps!!!

Friday, 16 January 2009

Yo McManus!!!

Team epic challanges joo to a pillow fight!!

we even have a montage!!


Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


The "L" word...the one without Jennifer Beals

Hey lesbiholics! (and possible breeders) I thought I'd take this opportunity to recount the tragic tale of my first experience of being in *looks around to whispers* love. First I better explain my views on the whole "Love" issue...I've always been cynical about it, because I grew up in an environment where "love" was a term that was not tossed around lightly, which meant that when I hear "I love you" I take it seriously. I hate hate HATE it when people say it after a week. Yes you may really like the person you've been dating for 3 days but you don't love them, it'd be pretty weird if you did. My parents were deeply in love even after 22 years of marriage, I don't think my father ever went out or to sleep without saying "I love you" to my mother, even if they had argued he always said it in case the worst should happen. Unfortunately it did and he passed away in 2002 after suffering a massive heart attack, but the last thing he ever said to my mother and me was "I love you" I carry that in my heart everyday and feel so lucky I got to hear it.

I'm digressing but the point is too many people say it just to say it and that pisses me off, it feels like disrespectful, and actually offends me a little. I also believe there is a difference to loving someone and being in love with someone. I adore my friends and there are 3 that I love, they are my deepest friends and I tell them that I love them if I feel the need to, I'd do anything for them but that feeling is another universe of feelings to a romantic relationship. Being in love is something completely different I can't express how I'd tell someone I was in love with them, I've never had that opportunity so I can't really comment....if this makes sense let me know... OK enough explanation about my morals and ideas let's get down to the nitty gritty... I know it's cheesy but a fact a Tegan and Sara song...sums up perfectly my first experience of being in love.

I felt you in my legs
Before I even met you
And when I laid beside you
For the first time
I told you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(Call me)
I felt you in my life
Before I ever thought to
Feel the need to lay down
Beside you
And tell you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
And now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)
Flew home,
Back to where we met
Stayed inside
I was so upset
Cooked up a plan,
So good except
I was all alone
You were all I had
Love you
You were all mine
Love me
I was yours right
I was yours right
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)

OK I don't know how you interpret that song but for me it's about that intense first love the one that stays in your chest long after it's gone especially if you've lost it because it's come to an end. I was tragic in high school, I was a fat, unpopular, geek that hide away into obsession and generally being a nerd. I loved musical theatre and was deranged in my lust for Patricia Quinn, so I logged onto the website and forum and meet the girl...I mean THE girl. It was by accident we meet when I was 17 and used to chat all the time, send each other letters, and despite the Continently difference (My UK her Ohio USA) we became fast friends. We were both "straight" (cough) and I simply thought this intense bond I had with her was friendship. That is until she got a boyfriend and I became almost insanely jealous, how DARE this boy touch her, think he could kiss her, she was incredible! I mean she was smart, and funny, incredibly gorgeous and Oh my actual god I liked her…like a lot a lot....I knew it right then I was gay.

It took maybe a year and a half for me to realise it but I had accidentally developed the worst crush of all time with one of my best friends and when I did it took my by surprise. Should I tell her? I decided to send her a letter letting her know that I at least "liked her" liked her, she didn't respond but our friendship continued un-disturbed until we both came out around the same time. I was planning a visit to the states so we could at least say "Hey there best friend" in person. As I was in mid flight booking, she said something very surprising, one night we were joking around like girls do about being touchy feely (I went to a girls school and my friends are lesbi-freinds (look that up) so that wasn't a weird occurrence) when she slowed down and asked seriously "would you find if I know...was touchy feely with you?"....WHUT! I asked her why and she said because she liked me and had for a while I was a-gasp. Pretty much straight away the letters to each other became old fashioned declarations of “intentions” being 19 I was afraid of being hurt but I went for it and let myself enjoy the feeling. Obviously it’s different when you’re in a long distance whirlwind affair it’s difficult to be taken seriously and you’re worried the other person feels differently. It was very tragic straight out of a WW2 film, it was delicious and I never thought it would end…it did.

A few months went by the conversation turned platonic again….I knew what happened…she’d meet someone else. She told me about this girl and it cut me deep. It really hurt, but I kinda expected it, I mean who’d want me? And She was too good for me it was only a matter of time before she realised it and got herself someone worthy of her affections. But it still hurt….well this new girl didn’t last very long and before long we were back to being in our “weird open long distance relationship” and I did go to visit her last summer for 2 weeks. Well when I arrived she tackled me in the airport and the trip was amazing. Within a week I’d completely fallen in love with her, I mean head over heals in love and it was amazing. We had some great nights and then we got drunk. BUT rather than what you may be thinking nothing happened….I didn’t so much as kiss her because I was too afraid of rejection. I regret it now but at the time it was the right decision I didn’t want her to be drunk if anything was gonna happen I wanted to be sure if anything did happen it was because she really did liked me and could handle the thought of being with someone like me. So on leaving I did the tragic lesbian thing and wrote her a letter and gave her my favourite necklace that I’d worn the whole time. When I left it was horrible we both cried at the airport and hugged for 10 minutes, I cried because she cried, she cried because I was leaving it was very tragic.

When I got home I was a wreck I just lay in my room reading bad lesbian fiction listening to “The Con” and “Nineteen” over and over along with the mixed CD she had made for me…Oh my I wanted the world to end because the pain was so bad, it physically hurt that I couldn’t be with her. I finally understood what people were talking about when they said they were heart-broken it was very hard to endure. But after about a month I managed to get over myself and start to live again but it took me a good 6 months to get over her, and honestly I’m still not there’s still a wee spark there ready to be inflamed. She’s still one of my greatest friends and we talk all the time but she’ll always have a special place in my heart as my first love. I think I’ll be carrying a flame for her my entire life.

So why’d I tell you all this tragic information?

Well I just wanted to let the younger girls out there that have been broken up with or have lost someone that it’s ok. It will get better trust me and no the pain doesn’t vanish it just becomes a different feeling…acceptance. It takes time it really does but it gets better, this part of you’re life is important but it’s a very small part. Don’t be afraid to feel , but don’t abuse the word LOVE…you’ll know when it’s love and everything else will become very clear, don’t rush yourself to fall in love…it’s true what they say you can’t hurry love you’ll just have to wait….indeed.

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


Thursday, 15 January 2009

Hoppy New Year!!

New video dooooooooods


Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


Friday, 9 January 2009



*hides from the coppers*

This is why I'm not aloud in public and should be forced to remain in my dungeon.

I meet some old school friends for Coffee in Starsmucks and before I left I stole a mug...I know I know it was wrong but my reasoning was the following:

-Starsmucks is an extremely rich company that is slowly acheiving it's goal of world domination one store at a time

-They steal from me everytime I order a coffee!

-The cup probably cost 10p to replace even though they shamelessly sell them at £6.50

-I'd gotton my germs on it and I have rabies

-My friends made me do it

So yeah my badassness is shown...I am hardcore.

I love my friends they are extremely funny and very cool people so we had fun catching up. I also got presants!!! yerp I got a radio shaped tin with diffrent flavored schnaps, a rainbow bracelet (that matches my necklace perfectly) a new passport holder and A MANDLE CANDLE!!!

The Mandle Candle I have been lusting after for nearly 3 years and I finally have one whoop whoop...the mandle candle is great for romance and simple enjoyment...please research the awesome power of the mandle candle it's like the CILLIT BANG advert of candles.

But all that chat, coffee and stealing I am very very tired so I'm off to beddy byes to watch some CSI

Luffs and cookies lesbifriends


Thursday, 8 January 2009

The long overdue holiday post...


How were your holidays?

Mine were epic!

I've had possibly the best christmas of my adult was unexpectidly amazing...

For all you who didn't know I've had a crappy couple of months

Since comming back from the summer I've had nothing but drama, with my room-mates, having no money, and the whole comming out by accident..

So after all this stress I didn't even want to go home for christmas figuring it'd be fighting and horribleness.

When I got to the airport after an annoying bus journey I went to get cash cos I had a fiver left...I went to the machine back loan payment haf come in I was so super happy becuase I could get my family some gifts meaning that may minimize the drama slightly. I got to Belfast with little fuss (cept that wanker security man) and my brother picked me up. Now I'd have a MASSIVE row on the phone with him, he doesn't understand why I don't do the normal thing of going to Greece for a week and getting pissed. He had a big go at me about my trip to the states and it was awful. But he picked me up and gave me a hug and drove me home. We had a chat about it all and cleared the air...then he said something very suprising:
Jeremy: "Ems Mum says you're gay"
Jeremy: notices "Look it doesn't matter to me Ems I still love you you're my little sister"
Emma: smiles
Football on radio is loud

So that was nice....

I got in and after an hour or so of chatting nonsense and hugging me dog my mum asked me "the Question"
Mum: Look are you gay?
Me:Why does it matter?
Mum: I just need to know
Me: I am...
Mum: processes
Me: But you knew that...
Mum: Pretty much...but now I know....make me a cup of tea will you?

So after all that worrying about my family freaking out they have completly excpeted with no questions and haven't treated me any diffrent.
It made me so relaxed I didn't have this secret anymore it was great. There was only one tiny bit of tension about it all on Christmas mum said she wanted to see Broke Back Mounatin...I told her it was about gay cowboys...her response was "Well I've got a gay daughter so what does it matter?" in a nasty brother who never stands up for me looked at her and stopped laughing "What the hell has ems got to do with it?" my mum looked at him then nodded "you''re right Jeremey that was childish...I'm sorry Emma Louise I didn't mean it" I was in shock.

rocked my years was more standered

I am the worst person for New Year I don't like going out and I don't know anyone to go with so I usally end up alone drinking white wine and crying about my life in the dark. But this year was diffrent...don't get me wrong I was alone, and I was drinking but I was dancing around the living room drunk as you like having the best time. I'd gotton a ton of texts from friends and had been called by Rachel at least 3 times so was all merry. See my mum was minding Ryan at my brothers so I had the house to was I at Midnight? I was standing outside with a beer watching fireworks in my PJs...pimp

The rest of the night I watched "The 50 greatest love scenes" and dancing to Katy Perry s'all good doods.

That's about it....borring but weird :D