Sunday, 21 December 2008


*is a lesbian scourn!"*

OK so it's 5am I'm on my home for christmas cheer with the folks freshly out and yada yada yada

I was all fine and dandy till the KNOB HEAD at security was gonna remove all my badges from my bag for the language...WTFFBBQ!!!

I've traveled EVERYWHERE with this bag...most recently to the states and had NO why is it KNOW when I'm simply going home Hitler is my secruity man?

As if getting frisked wasn't humilating enough I had some twat calling me "Madam"..."MADAM!!" I'm 20 goddam years old!!

I wouldn't be so mad but the badges on my bag are PRIDE badges....ones my friends have given me...I'd have hit the ROOF if he'd have ripped em off (which he did to my mini pair of handcuffs *grumbles*)

Fucking idiot

I'll do his daughter with some handcuffs and put that shit on youtube....

Dood for FUCKING serious!!!

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Happy holidays...meh



My lap top she is dead!!!

less than a year old and the fracjin' thing goes BOOM!

so I'm screwed :(

just a nice way to cap of the crappiest year

I can't wait to get it over with BRING ON THE NEW YEAR!!!

So my friends till next year

Happy Holidays

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Why I <3 AfterEllenDotCom...

Hey yall this isn't an emo "my life is a mess" blog

This is my "SQUEE FANGIRLING!!!" blog about....*drumroll please*



Well where do I start?

I first discovered AE waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the summer of 2005 I was very much in the closset but I was always pro-gay rights so I was re-searching a paper I wrote back in the day and I dunno I found it but then I lost the link and pretty much vanished back in the closset in a whirl of relgion and confussion...Years later in Winter 2007 I was googling "Americas Next Top Model" because I was OBSESSED with it and I stumbled upon the now infamous AE "We're getting no where" blog. I was still very very very deep in the closset at this point so it was my dirty little secret. I didn't join and as soon as I'd visited I'd wipe the internet history just in case my brother was like "ZOMG LESBIANZ!!!!" and tell my mother. I was OBSESSED with the vlogs and they really helped me out (I'll talk more about that later) I was the biggest gayest dork ever...when I came to Uni I finally came out and was free to watch AE to my little hearts content.

Ok I've talked a little bit about how I found AE now I wanna talk about why it's so important or me...

Reason 1-we write this stuff: OK the first thing that I adore about AE are the people that contribute to the content. The vloggers and the writters are real honest to god lesbians and this is important for a few reasons. The main reason though is they don't talk down to many sites have you guys been on that's like this:

"I'm an angelic straight woman but I understand these special feelings your having I can imagine how you're feeling, that is so adorible you like girls you poor little lesbian"

FOR SERIOUS! WTF! RAWR! Anyways the AE peeps actally KNOW what it's like to be a lesbian growing up, comming out, girlfriends, etc. etc. etc. and for that reason it is 10x better than most sites out there.

AEs ability to make me laugh AND think is another reason it's my number 1 website...not my favorite lesbian favorite website (I spend 10+ hours online a day cos I'm a nerd) I get all my information from AE I'm very pro-active and AE is my first resource. That may be pathetic but meh, it's easy to read, has links to all it's info and is the first stop on my bookmarks. Go AE!

They helped my come out and understand that things WILL get easier and this part of my life is just the introduction that I can make my life be whatever I want. So now I'm out and proud and no longer wipe the cookies when I visit fact it's my Number 1 bookmark.

Reason 2- It introduced me to a lot of lesbian cultural stuff I had no idea existed: yerp I was a bad gay. But give me a break I lived in a small Irish town in the middle of no where all I got was Sugar Rush and the L word...that was the extent of my lesbian knowledge so AE introduced me to books, films, TV shows I would have no idea existed. Thus I'm much more aware of the history of lesbians YAYNESS.

In all serious-ness being able to referance cultural stuff has helped me alot ESPECIALLY in uni. I argue a lot with my tutors (being a feminist and having sexist male tutors...I have to represent yessum?) so it's great to be able to say "Bla bla bla referance I read on AE" it's good times.

Reason 3- The vlogs: They make me LAUGH MY ASS OFF!!! for serious I don't watch TV anymore I watch the vlogs thus I have nothing to talk about with my friends...

"Did you see Hollyoaks lasy night?"
"Nu but OMG Dara said the FUNNIEST thing on "The hit list""
*blank stare*

They are seriously the best thing on the internetz....awesomeness

Jill Bennett, Karmen and Dara are me new heros...they are seriously my inspration for doing what I in writting...why? because I want people like the magical 3 to comment on my films/TV shows and instead of mountain lioning my work saying "This is epic in it's awesome"...They inspire me...and that sounded pretentious but I am a little...meh :D

Reason 4-The contributers actually add you to myspaz/facespace etc.: and it's them! I've had messages back!! which almost made me orgasim...hell I'm not gonna lie to yall I DID orgasim...yessum

Reason 5-ITHE BEST REASON EVER!!!!! introduced me to Bridget McManus: *Huge Massive Dorky Grin* Bridget McManus is my rain resson to be joke...she's smart, funny, hit, funny, lovely, hot, funny, hot, funny and SO married...she broke my fat girl heart. I am the BIGGEST BM fan this side of the Atlantic for serious I cyber stalk the poor woman as much as I can it's kinda pathetic but that's what I do...and beside I am a little pathetic. And through Bridget McManus I've been introduced to man many female comedians. I love comedy it's what I ultimatly want to do and I've always complained their aren't enough female comedians out having this new market to pick from is epic in it's awesome. But Bridget is my Bridget....I have one dream to meet her that's it. I wish I could be funny enough to telll her a joke but she'd just look at me like "Who the hell are you?" so...I'm a sad sad fan girl....I love Bridget and if you don't you're SO straight...SO straight...I could go on and on about how awesome Bridget is but this blog has been long enough...

Lastly I <3 AfterEllenDotCom becuase I've meet some awesome girls in the community forums I'm not into the scene here because it's not a plesant emviroment so online is the place I can talk about stuff. Dorky yes Awesome indeed

So here's my thanks to Sarah Warn creator and general Goddess of the AE universe

Thanks AE

You made me gay and that's awesome :D

(this was way too short but I will blog about the indivdual vloggers I love in depth in the futre...and not just AE vloggers I'll go on about SheWired as well cos Cathy is awesome)

Thanks you gays

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


Saturday, 13 December 2008

Get me out of the GAY BAR! GAY BAR!

Bonjour again my friends

todays topic is the incestuous pool of filth with call the gay bar!!


I hear you all cry "Emuh do not call our only real source of sociolizing filthy it's a beautiful thing!"

and my friends respond with... "The hell it is!!!"

Now I am the right person top comment on the whole situation because :
A-I'm not a fan of clubs...any clubs
B-I've been dragged threw all kinds of wanted debauchery
C-I remeber everything that's happened no matter how drunk I get....

So what is wrong with gay bars?

where to start is a better not get me wrong I would rather be in a gay bar skulking in the corner listening to "All I want for christmas" in July than endurring the sight of hetero-sexual mating rituals but we have to be honest here...Gay bars are usual sleezy.

Now it may just be I've had bad luck in being British and have only experianced the pure cheese on offer but generally they've been awful. for starters there's non stop drama but what do you expect when you have the complete cities population of gays packed into 3 diffrent bars on the 2 cheapest nights on offer? seriously it's all kissing, and crying, and kissing, and yelling, and "you looked at her!" and "you kissed him!"and "I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!!!" swiftly followed by declarations of mad passionate love. It's entertaing to watch but sooner or later we're all gonna end up in somebody else's drama.

My second gripe is the blatent meat marketing that goes any moment you are being scored on looks and shagability by at least 3 people and if you're not...that's a bad sign. It's that horrible feeling of being watched and knowing that no one is looking at you and marking you higher than a 2.4 de-pressed. If on the off chance someone does indeed deem you worthy of an approach you have to prepair for either complete rejection once you open your mouth or an escape plan for when they open theres. It's an overly complicated system of cat and mouse the girl your looking at is trying to run away from you and you from the mad woman trying to touch your feels so dirty.

OK being a big ol' lesbian I have discovered that gay bars are for gay men and their straight girlfriends. Hence the feeling of being out-numbered and the overwhelming urge to find a woman...ANY woman that is the slightest bit lesbianoic in her out look and this is where the "OMG I didn't really pull that woman last night did I? she was butchier than Desperate Dan!*" it's getting akward now. This is wher ethe incest comes in again....eventualy all lesbians make the rounds if you stay in a town long enough because there aren't enough of us in ratio it's bad times.

OK this blog has been whinny enough but here is my final gripe with gay bars...they are FULL of STRAIGHT PEOPLE!!! Seriously what the hell!!!!??!?! I mean come on we haven't got that many bars to start with couldn't you stick to the 26 clubs you have and leave us our 4?? I'm so sick of witnessing straight people hooking up in gay clubs when I can't even get a girl to look at me (see "meat marketing"). I'm sorry equality for everyone is fine with me but until 2 gay guys can make out in straight town without getting lynched or 2 girls do without the aid of Katy Perry I'm saying STICK THE HELL TO YOUR OWN CLUBS!!! FOR SERIOUS!!! It's icky I was hit on by 3 guys last night in a place called "Tutti Fruitti"...why the hell did they think I was there? I couldn't have looked more gay if I had tried!! and yet still there they are "let me get you a drink" how about hell no you can't now let me get back to ye fucking that girl over there I may have a chance with! oh no she's gone thanks a lot dude you just ruined my night :( ATTENTION BREDDERS-GET OUTTSA MY CLUB!!!!!

Damn it...I'm to old and cranky to be going clubbing...I'm happier with a beer, a pizza and a re--run "D.E.B.S"...have you guys ever been to a nice gay friendly bar? cool ones that don't play cheesy pop from the 90s or extreme dance? please let me know...tell your stories in the comments



Pip pip


*Emuh has nothing against butchy girls they are as awesome as can be they're just not her type...please don't hate fact call me try to change my mind ;)

Monday, 8 December 2008

Bridget McManus....WROTE ME BACK!!


I'm so assited!!!

Bridget is on if not my favorite comedian she's is epic in her awesome and this is comming from someone who's only seen her short sets on youtube and her vlogs....and reading her blog...I adore her greatly she should be queen of the universe!

I wrote her a fan-girl tear soaked message on her myspace thinking it'd disappear's the message I got back!

Em- congratulations on choosing your profession. If you want to be a comedian than you will be! I've wanted be a comic since I was 5 years old and I always talked myself out of it. It's a difficult career and especially difficult for women. But since I started full force last January my life has completely changed. It's just proof that you need to follow your dreams.

I have faith in you. Have a wonderful and safe New Year!


so awesome!!!

How to finish that 2000 word essay....

Better get the kids out the room for sure...


What's the secret I hear you cry?

It's simple really...




Oh come on we've all done it..and probably liked it am I right?

It's great stress relief and makes you feel all good inside.

As students we have a lot of stress...we party hard and then forget about important essays until the day before they're due!


We type, type, type, cry, curse and type some more and then WHAMMO it hits you like a wet fish...WRITTERS BLOCK!



Not matter what you do you can't think and want to cry.

My advise is to take a break, read some porn and chill...then get biz-ay just the once mind...because after that post orgasim split seconf your mind starts to work again. It's just like turning your computer on and off turn yourself on, get yourself off and then you're back in business!

I advise mastrubation breaks for anyone in a stressful work situation...unless you work in a public place then I'd say avoid unless you're really good at not getting caught....hey that might be kinky and help the progress

I would however suggest you do not over indulge in these breaks as they will end in you being so orgasmicly drunk you don't care if you're essay is due tomorrow...too much of a good thing an be bad for is one thing crashing windows every 10 minutes is just self abuse know what I mean?

I also suggest you don't let your partner join in...cos they'll want forplay, a reaction, and snuggles all of which eat into your essay time and defeat the purpose of the mastrubation break, it's far too distacting. If they get uppity promise them a celebration once the essay is safely in the hands of the Deanery Office.

There you are my student friends the secret they don't tell you at uni....If you're in a blocked situation, reboot your mind with mastrubation!

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom


Sunday, 7 December 2008

I was always a dyke...

was reading my old blog and found this entry back from when I was 17:

"I also got addicted to Sugar Rush and the L word....Lesbians just rock ok

I pretty much got to bed at 5 now cos Xenas on at 3"

I was still in the closet...HOW!?!?!

I suppose I've always been a massive dyke I was just the last to know D:


Thursday, 4 December 2008

How not to come out

Seriously this is how you don't come out to your parents...

Emuh: Yeah I'm not sure when I'm comming home...
Mother dearest: Were's your bible?
E: Why?
MD: Well I want you to come to church with me on Christmas day..
E: Mum you KNOW I don't do the church thing...I'm just not into it...
MD: Well I think you're being were always a relgious girl...this is all just pathetic!
E: BECAUSE I'M GAY!!!! *slams down phone*
E: Oh jesus...oh God...Oh jesus what did I just do...*relgion comes back*